Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
How Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome Keep You Stuck (and How to Break Free)
The Sh*tty Alliance: How Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome Create Mountains
The feeling of being stuck is a unique kind of agony, a state of paralysis made worse by a constant, looping internal monologue that actively sabotages you. Even when the plan is clear, this voice can keep you stuck. For the ambitious entrepreneurs and creatives I work with, it’s a familiar battle that determines whether their mind becomes their greatest ally or their biggest enemy.
This internal standstill is often the product of two powerful forces working together: perfectionism and impostor syndrome. Understanding how they operate is the first step toward dismantling their power over you and reclaiming your freedom.
The Nature of Our Internal Roadblocks
When you’re wrestling with doubt, your own mind works against you. It creates imaginary barriers that feel impossibly high - mountains, as I like to call them, turning your own creative potential against you.
It's great that you have so many creative ideas and see so clearly what the picture-perfect version of them COULD be, but that is precisely what is stopping you from taking action. Because now that perfect picture is what your inner critic wants to go for, and it's quick to judge and let you know you'll never get there. Wrong!
Your Inner Critic is a Bully
My clients often describe their inner critic with scary clarity. It’s a "very loud and rude" voice, a "big ol’ bully" that relentlessly tears down every new idea. This critic loves to tell you that you're "not good enough" or that your vision isn't original because it has "already been done." One entrepreneur I worked with even felt a sense of vertigo when she imagined achieving the success she craved, as if her mind was physically restricting her from rising higher. This internal bully thrives on keeping you small and safe from your own ambitions.
It loves it when you create mountains, because it will do everything it can to make you believe you cannot climb them.
The Paralyzing Fear of Failure and Criticism
Many of us are taught to fear failure, believing that any attempt must result in absolute success. This black-and-white thinking is the heart of perfectionism. It isn’t just about having high standards; it’s a defense mechanism against judgment - and I believe, a result of trauma in many cases as well. Perfectionists don't just calculate business risk; they calculate "perfectionist risk," the odds that someone, somewhere, will criticize their work for being flawed. This fear makes every action feel impossibly high-stakes, leading to analysis paralysis and way-too-familiar procrastination.
The Self-Sabotage Cycle
When fear gets involved, the inner critic becomes a master of self-sabotage. It encourages you to "yes-but" every opportunity, killing your momentum just as things start to gain traction. It’s a strange paradox, but many people are more afraid of success than of failure. The unknown territory of achieving your goals and the new expectations that come with it can be more terrifying than staying in a familiar state of struggle. I've experienced this in my own life many times, and I've heard many clients speak of the same: this unconscious fear prevents you from ever finding out what you're truly capable of.
The Nagging Impostor Narrative
Over time, this relentless internal doubt becomes your story. You make a decision, but immediately start questioning it. Eventually, you regret it and believe you should have picked the other option. All in the name of what other people might think of you if you failed, or how your life is ruined now that you made this bad choice that you can never undo.
It’s the voice of impostor syndrome, making you question your own capabilities. One of my favorite creative clients, feeling financially and professionally stuck, confessed to me that he felt he had "failed his younger, ambitious self." Another client once wondered during a session if she was a "lost cause," questioning whether the potential she once saw in herself had simply evaporated. This narrative can become so powerful that it convinces you to abandon your dreams, prioritizing fake stability over the risk of chasing a greater goal.
Understanding these patterns is crucial, but liberation comes from actively challenging them with new ways of thinking and acting.
Strategies to Reclaim Your Power and Take Action
Overcoming perfectionism and impostor syndrome requires a conscious effort to push back on your negative thoughts and create new behaviors. It’s about learning to act despite the voice of doubt, not waiting for it to disappear.
Question the Fear Itself
It’s a well-known acronym for a reason: Fear is often False Evidence Appearing Real. Research suggests that a vast majority, as much as 85% (and, I'd argue perhaps even 90%-95%) of what we worry about never happens! When you feel trapped by anxiety about what could go wrong, you are operating from a script of negative potential. The first disruptive act is to question that script. Ask yourself: What if it works out? Intentionally shifting your focus from worst-case scenarios to positive possibilities is a powerful way to get unstuck.
Shift Your Perspective
The inner critic thrives in the narrow, self-absorbed world of "I." It's all about "me, me, me" for that inner voice. To break free, you must step outside of this egocentric view. One powerful coaching technique I use is to ask clients to re-describe their problem from a third-person perspective. When I asked one founder what advice she would give her best friend or her own child if they were facing the same career obstacle, her entire narrative changed. The excuses she had built for herself were instantly reframed as surmountable challenges, rather than mountains.
Act Before You Have the Courage
Perfectionism causes creative and entrepreneurial projects to never take flight. Or, when you do find the energy to start, that same perfectionism will stall your progress with negative thinking. The antidote is not more thinking; it's action.
Courage is not a prerequisite for taking a step forward; it is the result of taking that step.
As I remind clients often and write about in my book, you simply cannot think your way into a new life or a new business. You must choose to go out and do it, even when - especially when - you feel afraid.
Redefine Readiness as a Decision
Waiting to feel completely confident is a trap. It keeps you perpetually waiting for tomorrow, just like Godot.
Here's a truth that has transformed my clients' careers: Being ready is a decision, not a feeling. That sense of capability you’re searching for almost always shows up after you’ve taken the leap and realized the task wasn't as difficult as you imagined. To short-circuit the overthinking cycle, use a practical tool like the 5-Second Rule by Mel Robbins: if you have an instinct to act, you must physically move within five seconds, or your brain will kill the idea.
Micro-dose Fear with Experiments
For those paralyzed by the fear of rejection or failure, taking small, manageable risks is essential. I call this "micro-dosing fear." By incorporating small real-life experiments into your routine (something I enjoy doing with my coaching clients), you can reprogram your nervous system. Each small step, like sending that one email, making that one call, proves that you can experience fear and excitement without anything terrible happening. This practice gradually expands your comfort zone until it’s large enough to hold your biggest goals.
The journey out of the stuckness of perfectionism and self-doubt is a process of remembering your own power. It's about choosing to move forward based on what is true right now, rather than waiting for a guarantee of certainty that will never come.
Now go out and do the thing. I believe in you!
Are you ready to break free from perfectionism and impostor syndrome once and for all?
Imagine what’s possible when your inner roadblocks are cleared away and when self-doubt turns into creative power so that you can move forward with clarity and confidence.
If you’re longing to feel true momentum but don’t know where to start, let’s make it real together. Book a free coaching session with me and discover how personalized coaching can help you reclaim your power, define your next steps, and finally create the career or business you’ve been dreaming about.Frequently Asked Questions
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Perfectionism is the belief that everything must be flawless to succeed. While striving for excellence can be motivating, perfectionism often leads to self-doubt and procrastination, hindering career growth by creating unnecessary pressures and delays.
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Impostor syndrome makes individuals feel like they don't deserve their success, despite their qualifications. This mindset often leads to underperformance, missed opportunities, and reluctance to seek promotions or take on new challenges.
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Start by identifying the root causes of your self-doubt, such as perfectionism, impostor syndrome, or a fear of failure. Then, set realistic and actionable daily goals and celebrate small victories to build confidence over time.
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Personalized coaching provides tailored strategies to target your unique challenges, providing clarity, accountability, and actionable steps. This support empowers you to confidently achieve your career or business goals while overcoming self-imposed limitations.
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Without clear next steps, it's easy to feel stuck or overwhelmed. By defining actionable steps, you can break large goals into manageable tasks, creating momentum and sustaining long-term progress in your career or business.
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Consistently taking small steps enables incremental progress, reducing the risk of burnout. Over time, these actions compound to yield significant achievements, proving that progress doesn't require perfection - just persistence.
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Addressing self-doubt quickly allows you to reach your full potential, seize more opportunities, and build confidence. Tackling these challenges today creates a stronger foundation for future professional or business success.
The Paralysis of Perfectionism: Why "Good Enough" is Actually Perfect
Many people find themselves stuck, unable to move forward in their personal or professional lives. I know because I see a lot of them in my coaching practice. They feel held back not by a lack of ability or opportunity, but by an internal struggle: perfectionism. While seemingly a virtue and a very helpful quality to achieve your goals, the quest for perfection and flawlessness often becomes an obstacle to your goal, leading to procrastination, self-doubt, and, ultimately, getting and staying stuck.
After a decade of supporting creative generalists and entrepreneurs to get unstuck, I know how perfectionism impacts our drive and productivity. So before even trying once again to "just do the thing," look inward. Are you setting yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic expectations? Are you holding yourself back through negative and destructive inner chatter? If that is the case, trying harder won't make you finally move forward. Instead, you must shift your mindset and mentally recalibrate: you must transform how you see perfection and understand it's an illusion created by fear to keep you safe.
What is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply striving for excellence or having high standards. However, again, after doing this work for a decade, I can tell you it goes way beyond that. At its core, perfectionism is an all-or-nothing approach to life. It's the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable and dangerous. This mindset is paralyzing, as it sets an unattainable standard - a mountain, as I often tell my clients, that we expect to climb in one step!
The High Cost of Chasing Perfection
Perfectionism may manifest differently in different people, but it always comes with a heavy cost:
Procrastination: The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards leads to delaying tasks. First, you create the mountain in your mind. Then, you procrastinate because it's too big of a task to climb it all at once.
Analysis Paralysis: Relentless overthinking and analysis prevent taking action. You're always thinking, trying to figure out how to reach the top of the mountain, but never actually taking the first step.
Self-Sabotage: The inner critic undermines confidence, fostering a belief that you are simply not good enough. If you were, you'd be on that mountain top already!
Lack of Creativity: The pressure to create something perfect will damage your capacity for innovation and experimentation. Instead of figuring out how to make it to the top, you'll be stuck in a rut, coming up with underwhelming ideas, not knowing how to begin.
Burnout: Always creating mountains for yourself, aka unattainable goals, leads to exhaustion and a loss of passion. How could you not get tired, always giving yourself impossibly high climbing levels?
These are only a few of the many negative effects or causes of perfectionism. One that is particularly powerful in keeping us stuck is what we say to ourselves. Let's take a closer look at that inner voice and how it keeps us from achieving our goals.
The Inner Critic's Sabotage
A common theme among my clients is the destructive voice of the inner critic. This voice whispers nothing but doubts, focuses on flaws, and convinces us that our efforts will invariably fail. Some examples of how this inner critic keeps us stuck include:
"No one will buy that; don't waste your time."
"This has been done before. It’s not original."
"There is nothing special about this."
"I don’t deserve that because I am not good enough."
"I will fail, lose money, and everyone will hate me."
"Making it is hard, and I will suffer."
One of my clients described his inner critic as saying, "Look, the mountain is beautiful but too high for you to climb it." Another client's inner voice was even more brutal, declaring, "You’re not going to be good at expressing your ideas...nothing you do will ever matter." This relentless negativity chips away at self-worth and destroys the courage to pursue a life worth living.
The Antidote: Embracing "Good Enough"
The key to breaking free from the paralysis of perfectionism lies in embracing the concept of "good enough." This doesn't mean settling for mediocrity. Instead, it's about recognizing that striving for excellence is valuable, but demanding perfection is self-defeating. "Good enough" acknowledges that limitations exist - of course they do! But it allows you to progress, learn, and grow without the crippling weight of impossible expectations (and imaginary mountains to climb).
Here are some strategies to help shift your perfectionist mindset to one that embraces "good enough:"
Challenge the Inner Critic: Actively question the negative thoughts and beliefs that cause your perfectionism. Are these thoughts realistic and helpful? Are they really true? Or are they based on fear and unrealistic expectations?
Set Realistic Goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Make them so small that you can't even make a mountain out of them anymore. Celebrate small victories along the way to build momentum and confidence.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift the focus from the end result (the top of the mountain) to the process of learning and growing (climbing your way up slowly). Accept that mistakes are part of the journey and valuable growth opportunities.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. If you wouldn't wish this pressure on someone else, don't put it on yourself.
Embrace Imperfection: Actively look for opportunities to be imperfect. Share your work even if it's not flawless, leave things unfinished (by your standards), and let others see the process rather than the result. It will be freeing, I promise!
Set Time Limits: Instead of striving for endless improvement, set a realistic deadline and commit to finishing the task within that timeframe (hello, I see you; I know it's hard!). This prevents projects from dragging on indefinitely and allows you to move forward.
Celebrate "Done": Acknowledge and celebrate the completion of a task, regardless of whether it meets every expectation. With your high standards, things will never be "done," so you might as well just let them be what they are.
Redefine Success: Change your definition of success from doing everything perfectly and at the highest level to your personal growth journey, finding meaning in your work, and focusing on your well-being first.
Some Case Studies in "Good Enough"
The Entrepreneur: Savannah started and stopped many entrepreneurial projects because they "didn’t quite feel right." After having her daughter, she realized she was working on interesting things, but they "didn’t truly come from my heart." She found her purpose by shifting her focus to postpartum care and wellness and coaching for new mothers.
The Creative: Connie feels she has "the soul of an artist, even if I don’t have the skill (yet)." Rather than waiting until she has the perfect skills, Connie can embrace her creativity by experimenting, learning, and sharing her work. By cultivating a growth mindset, she knows growth comes through practice, not innate talent.
The Career Changer: Kathryn wants personalized, results-oriented help with a career transition. By making the most of her existing skills and experience, she can create a solid plan that focuses on progress today rather than an unattainable ideal in the future.
Conclusion
As I have witnessed in my life and through working with many gifted and talented people, you think being perfect will be gratifying, but it only causes frustration and stagnation: you get stuck and stay stuck.
By aiming for "good enough" instead, you can free yourself from unattainable expectations, move closer to your innate potential, and experience the joy of progress, creativity, and meaningful achievement instead of the pain of never reaching the top of the mountain. You can Get Unstuck!
Take the first step toward progress and Getting Unstuck
Perfectionism can keep you trapped in a cycle of frustration and inaction. Constantly striving for an unattainable goal leads to self-doubt, procrastination, and a sense of failure, preventing you from reaching your goals and experiencing true fulfillment.
Are you ready to break free from the chains of perfectionism and start achieving your goals? Are you ready to finally get unstuck? Take the first step now - sign up for a free coaching session with me today!
10 Practical Ways to Get Unstuck Right Now
Do you currently feel stuck in your life? If you do, I want you to know that you're not alone. As a coach for multi-passionate creatives and entrepreneurs, helping people get unstuck is what I do best.
I get excited about helping others finally move forward because it's one of the best feelings in the world. I get to see people who are passionately pursuing their true path and achieving what they want. There's nothing better than seeing someone move past obstacles that were keeping them from following their dreams.
So, if you're feeling stuck right now, I get it. It's not fun to feel this way. There are many reasons why you might, and they vary from person to person. However, no matter what your challenges are, there's always a way forward. The key is looking for a way out and being open to it.
Action Comes Before Motivation
One of the most challenging things when you're stuck is finding the motivation within yourself to get moving again. It's easy to get stuck, getting moving again... not so much. Old habits and routines can feel safe, and the unknown often feels scary, even if it's so much better in the long term than what you have right now.
There are many reasons why we get stuck:
because we're afraid of failing,
because we procrastinate and keep putting off anything that feels scary or uncertain,
because the path forward isn't clear yet,
because we don't have a plan,
because our family doesn't support what we want to do,
because it seems like everything around us is working against our goals,
because we feel like we're the only one who isn't happy with their life right now,
and so much more...
10 Practical Ways to Get Unstuck Right Now
What do you get when you combine procrastination with fear? Creative deadlock. It always amazes me how easy it is to get tangled up in doing nothing by overthinking what I need to do next.
Ironically, the idea of "being stuck" (the most common procrastination excuse) is itself a fear, and a sneaky one disguised as laziness or indecision. Interestingly, we get stuck with both positive and negative emotions – not just paralyzing fear but also excited anticipation. I know, right? So let's get the "I just don't know what to do" off our chest and look at ten ways to get unstuck right now instead.
Determine what part of getting started is holding you back – fear, indecision, procrastination? Usually, it's some combination. Next time you get stuck on starting something, ask yourself: Do I worry about this? What might the fear be? What is the worst/best possible scenario for getting started? Let's get into some action here.
Write a list of possible actions you can take right now as if you had no fear at all and knew with 100% certainty that it would turn out alright in the end. Most likely, there will be at least 60% of them that you get excited about.
Trust yourself and go for one of the actions on your list. As soon as you get into motion, you'll notice that the feeling of being stuck subsides. The trick is to get a second action going right away after the first one. Then another one, and another one (you get the picture :)).
Remember that the first step is often the hardest. Once you get started, unseen forces and power get you unstuck and get things done. Once you get a few actions going, the momentum will help carry you forward. It is a bit like a snowball effect: it becomes harder and harder to get stuck again once you're out of the starting blocks.
Identify your biggest fear about getting started. Get back to that fear with a worst-case scenario: what's the worse that could happen? Except for the odd one out, you'll realize the worst isn't that bad, and certainly not as bad as doing nothing! Once you get that one out of the way, it will become easier to get things done. Don't leave it on the list for later – do it today!
Reward yourself for getting started. Treat yourself, take a break, get outside in the fresh air. Don't wait until the end of a project or goal to celebrate. When you've been stuck for a while, it's essential to reward yourself for little progress. This will train your brain to want more of that feeling and make it easier for you to keep going.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Let me say that again: get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I know you're afraid of the unknown, I am too, but most people never get what they want because they quit when it gets tricky. By getting familiar with annoying or complex emotions, you give yourself a priceless gift. The more you get acquainted with them, the more control you'll have over them - instead of them over you!
If it's still hard to get started, make a plan for the next 15 minutes - not a minute more. Forget about the end goal, forget about all the tasks you have to accomplish, and focus on the next 15 minutes. Once they're over, you're done. Congratulations! Repeat for a few days or weeks until those 15 minutes feel too easy, then add more time as you progress forward.
Get an accountability partner. Find someone who will tell you to get your butt in gear even when you don't want to get started. Share goals, dreams, and work schedules with this person. Ask them to keep you on track and offer to do the same for them. You can get there on your own, but often knowing that you're accountable to someone will make it easier to get - and stay unstuck.
If you really can't get unstuck, find some professional help. There's a lot of it out there: therapists, support groups, coaches like myself... whatever it is you're struggling with, someone can help you figure things out. Don't be afraid to reach out.
I hope you've found these tips helpful. Just remember that being stuck is a feeling, not a fact. You have the power to move forward. I know it's hard, but you can do it!
Do you feel stuck?
I'm a coach and mentor for creatives and entrepreneurs who want to grow their careers or businesses. My specialty is helping people get unstuck so they can move forward with confidence. You don't have to go through this alone – I can help!
You don't have to stay stuck forever! Let me help you find the clarity, courage, motivation, and direction needed to progress your goals today! We will work together in an intimate setting where we can focus on what matters most for YOU. It doesn't matter whether it's writing a book, changing careers, or starting a new business - my job is to support you through this process until you're ready to fly again by yourself! This could be precisely what you need right now...
How to get the most out of your day planner
I was having a chat with a friend last Friday when she mentioned to me how hard it is for her to stay on track with her goals. It’s a “right brain thing” she told me, I’m build this way and I only thrive in chaos. She continued by telling me that – like everyone else – she has a planner, and write things in it. And that’s precisely the issue: she just writes things in it. She doesn’t use it.
That’s why I decided to call this tip “Make the most out of your planner” instead of buy a planner, invest in a planner, or even have a planner. Those are all really great things that you need in order to USE your planner, but that’s also really where the greatness stops.
I used to be a planner hoarder. (Still am, to be honest)
Every time I came across a planner that I loved, either because of its color (pink, please), bling (you had me at sparkle) or content (give me those pages darlin’!), I’d buy it. Once home I’d put it on top of the pile of other wonderful planners I’d “invested” in. Sometimes – if they were bubble wrapped – they would stay that way for weeks, months, sometimes even the entire year.
Planners were really unhappy around me.
I never gave them the love they deserved, and the attention they needed. Instead, come every Sunday night, I would *think* about prepping for the week ahead and writing all the amazing things down that I was going to achieve, but then the TV called, or a friend, or both.
Before I knew it, it was bedtime. Ah well, I’d do it tomorrow or next week. It didn’t really matter – so I told myself – I had the planner. Uhum – I had PLENTY of them. I wasn’t making any decent progress on my goals, so what was the deal though?
The truth is, a gazillion planners won’t change anything.
If you want to achieve your goals you need to USE your planner – not just look at it, however pretty it may be (starts to sweat knowing she’ll need to part with most of her sparkling babies soon).
Left brain or right brain, we can all use a planner. Yes it’s certainly true it comes easier to some than others. But that’s just more reason to do it. It helps you organize your thoughts, and get clear on what it is you need to work on. When I started using one – for something more than keeping grocery lists that is – everything changed. I got more done in less time, i was able to stay focused on my daily tasks better, and because of this shift I wasn’t losing sight of my big dreams and goals anymore – a chronic illness I’d been battling for years without success.
What follows are three of my best tips when it comes to using a planner, taking right from the tranchees where little guinea pig called moi tried and tested them out first. (You’re welcome :))
How to use a planner?
Take time to plan things out
If you want to take full advantage of your planner, you’ll need to take time to plan things out, and write them down in it. There’s simply no way around it. For your planner to be an effective goal-slaying companion, you need to give it the right stuff to eat: tasks. Planners are crazy about those little finger-licking sweets. They can eat them by the thousand. The more you feed it to them, the happier they get. But the problem is, planners count on YOU to get them. So make a habit of sitting down with your planner once a week (or every other regular interval that works for you) and write out the tasks you’ll take on together in the next period (that would be a week for me, but could vary depending on your chosen interval).
Keep your planner on your desk
Writing down tasks in your planner is only half the job. Once they’re in there, you’ve got to review them, focus on them, and make them happen. That’s why I love to keep my planner on my desk. I open it to today’s date and work my way through the tasks I’ve set. When I’m done with one, I cross it out (greatest feeling in the world). When possible I start with the big, important ones and work my way down to the smaller, easier ones. So make sure to check in with your planner every day and keep it on your desk.
Don’t be afraid to experiment
Every year I publish a round-up of my favourite planners. I do this because I’m always on the lookout for the ultimate planner – the one that will be absolutely PERFECT for me. That planner, unfortunately, doesn’t exist yet (I’m still working on putting it together), so what I’ve learned to do instead is to experiment, and tweak my planner so that it works best for me. If you’re planner doesn’t have a habit tracker for instance, why not add it in yourself? Or if you need a space for gratitude, why not use sticky notes? Whatever it is you’re missing in your planner, there’s always a way to add it in. Remember that you’re planner is supposed to work for you, not the other way around.
If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.
How to start small to finish big
When we dream big, it’s easy to get caught up in the dream and become overwhelmed. Huge goals often feel like mountains that we’re not equipped to climb. I believe this is one of the main reasons why so many big dreamers never act on their goals. The vision is so big that they fail to see how they could ever make it their reality, so they do nothing.
In order to achieve big dreams it’s important to start small: plan small, take small steps, move forward in an achievable way. That way the path that leads to your dreams feels more manageable, and you’ll be more likely to remain motivated and in action.
How do you start small?
Put action steps on your to-do list, not goals
Last week a client told me about the “goals” she’d been stuck with on her to-do list. When I asked her how long they’d been on there, her reply was: “Forever”. I wasn’t surprised. I see this so often in my coaching practice. When we fail to turn goals into actions steps when putting them on our to-do lists, not much gets done. Who can blame us? Goals could take weeks, months, years to accomplish. Having them as an action step on our daily planner inevitably will cause overwhelm.
Keep your goals and dreams on your vision board and use your daily planners for the actual steps you’ll take to achieve them.
One way to do this is to break down each of your goals into all the steps it’ll take you to accomplish them. Then use this master list to put together your daily, weekly, or monthly to-do lists, starting from the actions you can take right now. If your goal is to start an online business for instance, steps you’ll need to take range from figuring out your website software, domain name, hosting provider all the way to writing content, defining your offering, and putting together your marketing strategy. Not all of these steps can be taken immediately. But some can, like researching website options, or brainstorming domain names. Those are the steps you need to get started with first.
Make sure you can complete each step in one sitting
It’s not enough to turn goals into action steps. You have to make sure you can tackle each of them in one sitting. What I mean by that is that you have to be able to complete any action step in 30 minutes to a few hours, depending on the time you’ve allocated for it on your daily schedule. If not, the action step is not small enough and probably looks more like an intermediate goal that needs refining.
When I put together action steps I like to revisit them a few times to make sure they’re the smallest they can be. When I review them I always ask myself the same question: “Is there anything else I need to do to complete this step?”. If the answer is no, I know I have a good action step. If it’s yes, I break it down further.
Plan ahead weekly
Once you have a master list of action steps for each of your goals it’s time to plan. I love to plan ahead of my week on Sunday. It’s the most peaceful day of the week, with the least amount of distractions. At least for me I sit down with my list and fill my weekly planner with the steps I’ll take that week. It not only helps me to stay focused, but I consistently achieve more when I plan ahead like this.
One thing that has helped me throughout the years though (and that I’m still working on) is to limit the amount of things I put on my list every day. It’s so easy to overestimate the amount of time we have available, and to stress ourselves out with too many things we think we “have to” do. When we do, it’s as if we’re adding the goals back on our to-do list: we become overwhelmed, and our momentum fades away. Make sure to give yourself enough time each day to complete the actions steps you’ve set yourself, and limit how many you’ll do each day.
Remember there’s a whole world out there. While you’re building your big dreams make sure to experience, and enjoy it. In the end, now is the only time we’ve got.
If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.
How to get enough sleep during the night to achieve more during the day
When you’re working on your dreams, it’s easy to get stuck in action mode. This might come as a surprise, especially since procrastination is one of the main reasons clients seek out my help to achieve their goals, but too much doing can keep you from getting what you want.
Too much of anything is never a great formula. With the exception of love. I don’t think you can ever get enough of that. But when it comes to working toward your goals, being in action too much, wanting it too much, thinking about it too much can produce the adverse effect. The way this “too muchness” will show up is different for everyone.
What I’ve found – in my own life as well as that of many of my clients – is that it often translates into not enough sleep. We get so excited about our new idea that we slay at it for hours on end, or it keeps us up at night. We fall in the trap of thinking we have to be first, so we keep on going. Relentlessly. As we do, we stop listening to our body, we neglect it. The result? We become less productive, our creativity takes a hit, eventually we end up exhausted.
None of this is good for your dreams. It makes it harder to stay on track, to enjoy the process, and even to believe in them.
So make sure you get enough sleep. A rested body, and a replenished mind are your best tools to achieve your goals. It’s an illusion to think you’ll get there faster if you only push yourself hard enough. Achieving big dreams is a marathon, not a sprint. Small steps over time will yield more results than unsustainable burst of too much action.
How to get enough sleep?
Listen to your body
Our bodies are incredibly complex systems with even more intricate operating systems. Not a computer in the world can do what our bodies can. Our bodies will tell us when something’s wrong. Because our minds have such powerful processing power too it’s easy to discard the signs. Mind of matter is a thing, and a good one for many reasons. But not when sleep is concerned. In order to function optimally, to be happy and feel good in our bodies, we need to sleep.
You might feel tired, experience some aches and pains, become more irritable, have trouble organizing your thoughts. These could all be signs that it’s time to stop and get some rest.
Remember you’ve got plenty of time
Most of us overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can do in a month. The same goes for longer period of times. It’s easy to overestimate where we’ll be in a year, and underestimate what we can actually accomplish in five. When you’re working toward big dreams it’s important to remember you’ve got plenty of time. It might feel like you have to do it now because you want it so badly, but you do have time.
I see it so often: it’s the small steps over time that produce the most results. Creating something new is a process that can’t be rushed. The journey is part of it. When we start it’s easy to think there’s no journey, just a destination. That’s when we rush into things, demand too much of ourselves, neglect to sleep. It’s unsustainable and simply doesn’t work.
When it’s 11pm at night and you find yourself yawning more than you’re thinking… remember you’ve got plenty of time. And go to sleep.
Visualize your dreams as you fall asleep
One of the things I love to do when I fall asleep is to visualize my dreams. As I close my eyes, and rest my head on my pillow I imagine I already have everything I’m working toward. I do this for two reasons.
First, I believe in the power of visualization. Whatever we focus our energy on will eventually manifest itself. Not because elves and fairies will magically make it true but if it stays on our mind we’ll think about it more, come up with creative solutions for the challenges we encounter, and eventually believe it can happen.
Second, because there’s no better way to fall asleep. Focusing on your dreams in a positive way pushes away worries, and negative thoughts that can keep you up at night. When I do it I’m gone to lalaland in a few minutes, with a big smile on my face!
If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.
How to overcome your fear of failure
One of the cornerstones of the work that I do with my clients is to first deconstruct the belief system they’ve build around themselves and their dreams. Very often this is one of the main blocks stopping them from going after what they want.
Within that belief system the fear of failure takes a central role. The culture we live in is a culture of winners, where failure is seen as something bad that needs to be avoided. As women this translates into us easily being seen as helpless when we fail, with society ready to come to our rescue by letting us know it’s OK not to pursue our dreams. When we try and fail we’re not motivated to try again, but rather dusted off and put back into the good girl box, confronted with the cultural bias that it isn’t for us in the first place, that we’re not supposed to be winners anyway.
Because of this many women fear failure. It’s hard enough to step out of comfort zones, and go against what society wants us to believe about ourselves. When we fail – or think about failing – our biggest fear comes up: that we’re simply not good enough. The truth is there’s no growth, no change, no progress without some failure too.
Failure is an essential learning experience to get to where you want to go. If you already knew exactly how to get there you wouldn’t fail – true – but you’d already be there!
How to overcome your fear of failure?
Here are 3 tips that have helped me and many of my clients to overcome their fear of failure. I hope they’ll be helpful for you too.
Change your belief system about failure
Failing is not something bad that needs to be avoided at all costs. In fact, it’s one of the fastest ways to learn. In order to overcome your fear of failure it’s important to change your belief system about what it really is.
Failure doesn’t define you. It has nothing to do with who you are. Failure doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough, or smart enough. It only teaches you something. Probably a valuable lesson. By changing your belief system about failure you’re giving yourself space to experiment, play, and learn. Essential practices to dream bigger, and achieve your goals.
Remember that everyone fails
There’s no such thing as overnight success. Everyone who ever achieved anything failed miserably – probably a gazillion times – before succeeding. History is full of stories of big dreamers who went on yearlong journeys of failure before becoming the successes they’re known to be today. Just think of Oprah, J.K. Rowling, Lady Gaga.
That’s why I love reading biographies. By learning about the struggles that others came across their journeys to success, I’m empowered to dream bigger and believe I can do it to. Here’s a couple that I particularly like:
Oprah Winfrey: A Biography
Michelle Obama: A Life
Gloria Steinem: My Life on the Road
I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and was Shot by the Taliban
Angela Davis: An Autobiography
What’s the worst that could happen?
When everything else fails (pun intended) I love to ask myself this question. This powerful question is a miracle worker. Both for myself, and my clients. When the fear of failure becomes so strong that it causes procrastination or indecision it’s my go-to mantra. By asking myself what’s the worst that could happen I almost always realize the worst possible outcome is far better than not taking a chance at all.
I invite you to try it out for yourself. Think about what it is you want to do. Now think about what would happen – and I mean really happen – if you failed. Chances are your ego might be bruised a bit, and you might have to go back to the drawing tables and rework your plan. But… will the world end? Will everything in your life fall apart? Will you grow a second pair of legs? Probably not.
If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.