Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Why Creative Generalists & Multi-Passionate Entrepreneurs Keep Underselling Themselves (and How to Live Up to Your Worth)
If you're a creative generalist, an artist juggling multiple media or projects, or an entrepreneur with a constant flood of ideas, chances are you’ve experienced the unique frustration of continually underselling yourself. As an ambitious doer, you're passionate, capable, and striving for professional potential, yet you feel stuck, unable to translate your immense potential into the business success or artistic freedom you crave.
You feel like an impostor, as if you don't belong among the peers you admire, but feel less than around. The funny thing is, these skilled artists and entrepreneurs are the ones who seek you out, not the other way around.
This post is for the multi-passionate creative who feels inadequate or the skilled entrepreneur who wants to share their true potential with the world.
We examine the invisible walls - the mindset, limiting beliefs, and fears - that prevent you from living up to your worth, developing profitable services or products, and earning a living from them.
Part I: Why We Undersell Our Talent
Many high-achieving, creative individuals struggle with mental blocks and procrastination that stop them from achieving their goals.
We often unknowingly construct elaborate obstacles that prevent us from taking action and confidently claiming our value, all in the name of fear. Because of this, we believe we are not good enough, that we don't have what it takes, even if, unconsciously, we do feel capable and talented, deep down inside.
1. The Bully in Your Brain: The Inner Critic
From coaching creatives for over a decade, I know that underselling is often rooted in the pervasive voice of the inner critic, which specializes in making you question your capabilities and worth. This internal chatter is a burden for many creatives and entrepreneurs.
It declares negative assessments like: “You’re a loser,” “I’m crazy,” or “You’ll never be able to accomplish anything”.
It insists that what you want isn't real, or that you don't deserve success because you are simply "not good enough".
It tells you that you are a "mish-mash of random half-baked talents".
This can lead to impostor syndrome, the inability to internalize accomplishments. For some of us, this inner voice will simply tell us, "You can't do this".
My advice on this is clear: you must actively decide to take control of your life and stop bullying yourself with negative inner chatter.
There is no point in telling yourself anything that will limit you. What good does it do, really? Instead, adopt this simple but effective mantra that has helped me, and many of my clients, move out of procrastination and overwhelm and into consistent and sustainable action:
**DAILY MANTRA TO SILENCE YOUR INNER BULLY: **EVERY NEGATIVE THOUGHT IS WRONG. (Yes, it’s that simple)
2. The Perfectionism-Procrastination Loop
For many creatives, especially those who struggle with diagnoses like ADHD or those who have been conditioned since childhood, perfectionism becomes a primary tool for self-sabotage.
This mindset calculates "perfectionist risk," which is the fear of being criticized for not executing an idea perfectly.
You may obsessively overthink and worry about the right decision, causing anxiety and stress, and keeping you stuck for longer.
Procrastinating and breaking promises to yourself leaves you questioning if you are even capable of achieving your dreams.
Clients often start to think themselves out of a conversation they could have, worried they will be criticized for not executing perfectly. You might stall, feeling like you have only one shot to speak with someone important.
The truth is, even if our past experiences conditioned us to believe we couldn't do anything right, that belief is often not true and does not serve the grown-ass adults we’ve become.
3. The Generalist Paradox and Lack of Clarity
Creative generalists (or multi-passionate creatives) are prone to feeling overwhelmed, not because they lack ideas, but because they have too many.
Many ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs come into my coaching practice because they're "stuck". They need help finding clarity on what they should be focusing their energy on.
The desire for certainty is a flaw in thinking. We often ask for certainty in a world that is all but one thing: certain.
Attempting to overcome ambiguity by overthinking everything only leads to stress and anxiety. When faced with multiple life or career options, we experience inner conflict, which is painful and often results in looking at the options narrowly.
The ambiguity of choosing from many ideas rarely disappears just by thinking about options. You gain clarity only when you pick something and take action.
4. The Tyranny of Inherited Dreams
We often adopt a blueprint for success that isn't truly our own, shaped by societal or cultural expectations. This is what I have called the tyranny of inherited dreams, dreams that belong to your parents or caregivers, or your friends, but don't belong to you.
Many people fall into the trap of pursuing a career or lifestyle that they believe will bring them success and happiness, only to find out later on that it does not fulfill them. They may have followed in the footsteps of their parents' or friends' dreams without questioning if those were truly their own
You might pursue jobs that favor salary over passion or be influenced by the capitalistic world's definition of success (money, status, power).
You may unconsciously move and live based on expectations of others or expectations you imposed on yourself, such as needing a "mega career" or to be "rich".
Finding your way back to your authentic dreams means dismantling these inherited dreams, and the way to do that is what we look at below, in Part II.
Part II: How to Finally Live Up to Your Worth
To finally align your external success with your internal worth, you need to commit to self-leadership, mindset shifts, and purposeful action.
1. Take Control: Mindset and Self-Leadership
Practice Self-Leadership: Leadership is never given; you have to take it for yourself. This means influencing and guiding yourself. You must realize that nobody is coming to save you or make change happen for you - that is the myth of change (more on that in my book Get Unstuck!). It’s crucial to recognize that you are not your thoughts and that you can choose what you allow yourself to believe and act on.
Redefine Success and Self-Worth: Define success in terms of sustainability, meaning, purpose, and overall well-being, rather than solely in terms of a capitalist blueprint. For creative generalists, having many interests is often a superpower. Embrace your unique wiring that allows you to make connections others can't. Give yourself permission to find things difficult, even if they seem easy for others, and feel proud of your effort.
Believe in Possibilities: By changing what we do, we change who we are. Your fears are often just False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR). You are the leading character in your life, not the victim of your circumstances. This is YOUR story - live it fully.
2. Commit to Action and Flow
Clarity Through Movement: Stop waiting until you feel absolutely sure of what to do next. You cannot think yourself into a new career or life. You gain clarity and learn whether an idea works only when you pick something and take action. You need a plan that is both exciting and aligned with you.
Build Grit with Kept Promises: You lose trust in yourself every time you break a promise you make to yourself. To build self-confidence and momentum, make promises to yourself scarce, but once you make one, keep it at all costs. This cultivates grit, which separates dreamers from doers.
Find Your "Glue" and Flow: A powerful technique is what I call finding your "glue," the unique common thread that brings all your interests and passions together. Your glue can guide you on what to focus on. Furthermore, aim to cultivate a state of flow, where you are deeply engaged, allowing you to move from overwhelm to creative energy.
Remember: there’s no perfect time to start. Every accomplishment begins with a choice to try. Trust in your potential. If you need to, fake it until you feel it.
The first step WILL feel weird, uncertain, scary, but it’s also the most empowering. Go for it - your future self will thank you.
Are You Ready to Stop Underselling Yourself?
Are you ready to reach your true creative potential and take the leap toward a brighter, more fulfilling future? Imagine what you could achieve with the right guidance and resources tailored to your unique goals. Don't hold back - this is your moment to act.
What if you had the clarity and guidance to silence the procrastination and create the fulfilling lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of? This is your chance to break free from the grind and finally craft a career that flows.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Overcoming self-doubt is crucial for creative career success because it directly impacts your confidence, decision-making, and ability to take advantage of opportunities. When you allow self-doubt to rule your days and work, it creates barriers that can limit your growth and hold you back from stepping into new challenges or responsibilities. Cultivating self-belief and believing in your worth enables you to recognize your own value, advocate for yourself, and showcase your capabilities to others. Professionals who overcome self-doubt tend to approach challenges with resilience and a solutions-focused mindset, which can set them apart in competitive environments. Confidence also translates into better networking, as you're more likely to build meaningful connections and present yourself authentically when you trust your skills. Confidence empowers you to take ownership of your career and life path, make strategic moves, and create opportunities for yourself that align with both your dreams and your potential.
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A creative generalist or multi-passionate entrepreneur is an individual who thrives on exploring many interests, pursuing varied skills, and excelling across multiple disciplines. Unlike specialists who focus on deep expertise in a single area, creative generalists draw strength from their ability to think broadly, connect ideas across fields, and approach challenges with versatility. They are often highly adaptable, possessing a unique ability to innovate by blending insights from different industries or disciplines. This multidimensional skill set makes them well-suited for roles that demand creative problem-solving and interdisciplinary collaboration. Creative generalists play a vital role in driving innovation, as they frequently offer fresh perspectives and think beyond conventional boundaries, making them invaluable assets in today’s dynamic and often high-tech professional landscape.
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Creative professionals often undersell their skills because measuring the value of creativity can be inherently subjective, making it hard to quantify or articulate in traditional business terms. Imposter syndrome tends to make this challenge worse, as many creatives question whether their contributions are truly impactful or compare themselves unfavorably to peers. Additionally, the tendency to focus more on perfecting their craft than on marketing themselves often leaves them at a disadvantage in highlighting their worth effectively. There’s also the issue of language - translating abstract or artistic ideas into business-driven clarity is not always intuitive. By not actively identifying or communicating the tangible benefits their work provides, creative professionals can unintentionally diminish the perception of their value. Overcoming these challenges often requires intentional efforts to develop confidence and worth, refine personal branding strategies, and connect their creative skills to measurable outcomes, such as improved customer engagement, brand development, or innovative problem-solving.
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To start showcasing your worth more confidently, begin by conducting a self-assessment to identify your unique skills, expertise, and accomplishments. Reflect on past projects or roles where you made a significant impact - whether it was leading a team to success, boosting a client’s satisfaction, or implementing innovative solutions that delivered measurable results.
Next, set clear, achievable goals aligned with your career dreams. Ask yourself, "What do I want to be known for in my industry?" or "What specific outcomes do I aim to achieve?" By focusing on your strengths and the value you bring, you can tailor your messaging to resonate with potential clients, partners, or employers.
Additionally, use platforms like LinkedIn to elevate your personal brand. Share insights, success stories, or thought leadership content that aligns with your goals and showcases your expertise. Engaging in conversations with industry leaders or joining groups within your field can further reinforce your presence and credibility.
Above all, consistency is key. Use every opportunity, from meetings to networking events, to articulate your value with confidence. Empower yourself with these strategies, and watch as recognition and opportunities grow naturally around what you bring to the table as the amazing creative that you are.
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To build value and recognition as a creative, artist, or entrepreneur, it’s essential to approach your career with intentionality and a focus on growth. Personal branding plays a pivotal role in this, as it allows you to establish a distinct identity that reflects your skills, values, and vision. Start by curating your online presence, making sure that your portfolio, social media, and professional profiles align with the message you want to convey. A consistent and authentic and confident narrative will help others relate to you and recognize the value you bring.
Seeking feedback from peers and mentors is another important step. Constructive input can help you identify areas for improvement and sharpen your craft while building stronger connections with those in your industry. Surround yourself with individuals who encourage your growth and provide honest insights.
Finally, demonstrating your expertise through tangible results is perhaps the most powerful way to build recognition. Consistently deliver high-quality work, don’t be afraid to share your success stories, and showcase how your efforts have made an impact.
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Anyone who feels stuck or undervalued in their professional life, especially creative generalists and multi-passionate entrepreneurs, can use these strategies to thrive.
By applying these strategies and living up to their worth, creatives can find new levels of opportunity and visibility in their careers. Creative generalists, for example, can position their vast skill sets as unique value propositions, while multi-passionate entrepreneurs can channel their versatility into innovative ventures that solve important problems. The key lies in believing in yourself and deciding to show up as your full, authentic, confident self!
Manifesting Your Dreams: How Your Thoughts Can Shape Your Life as a Creative Generalist (I know it's woo-woo, but it works!)
As I set out to launch a new start-up project (check out CoachMila™.ai and let me know what you think!), I can't help but reflect on the incredible journey of being a creative generalist. This term has become an anchor for many of us drawn to a diverse and multi-faceted range of passions and interests.
Have you ever felt like your curiosity includes (but isn't limited to!) writing, technology, wellness, art, or even human connection and personal growth? If so, you’re in good company! How your brain is wired is a gift, and your interests are pulling at you, offering a unique perspective and endless potential. But let’s be honest - it can sometimes feel overwhelming.
Navigating the maze of possibilities can leave us feeling stuck, unsure which path to follow or how to combine our many interests. Add to that the stories we tell ourselves about who we should be and the comparison traps we fall into, and it's no wonder creative generalists often feel paralyzed.
Here's the good news: your creative thoughts can transform your life. By rewiring your mindset and intentionally aligning your thoughts with your dreams, you can manifest a life that reflects your unique gifts as a generalist.
The Power of Manifestation: Creative Thoughts Become Things
Over the past decade, I've explored and experimented more with the concept of manifestation - not as magic (although it sure does feel like it!) but as a process rooted in the science of neuroplasticity and the power of intentional thinking. Rewiring how we think - shifting from limiting beliefs to empowering ones - can transform how we see ourselves and build our dreams. Neuroplasticity teaches us that our brains are malleable; by intentionally shifting our thought patterns over time, we can create new neural pathways that align with our goals and values.
One of my favorite ways to put it is this: “The magic is not in the wand, but rather in the thoughts of the one holding it.”
For creative generalists like you and I - who often juggle multiple passions and ideas - this process is especially powerful. It allows us to embrace our multifaceted nature while creating clarity and focusing on what truly matters.
But let’s not sugarcoat it: rewiring your brain isn’t always easy. Your sheer number of interests can lead to scattered thinking, choice overload, fear of missing out, or even analysis paralysis. Comparison might creep in as we measure ourselves against other people's external metrics, like follower counts or career milestones. When this happens, it’s important to remember that change starts within you - by deliberately shifting your thoughts (over and over again, months on end) so you can create new mental patterns that align with what you actually want.
Practices for Rewiring Your Thoughts and Manifesting Your Dreams as a Creative Generalist
So, how do we begin rewiring our brains and changing our thoughts to manifest the lives we envision? Here are a few practices I've tried in recent years that have worked really well for me:
Mantra recitation with brain frequency music
I've been doing this for two years daily for twenty, and it has changed my life! Start your day by reciting empowering mantras on flashcards while listening to brain-frequency music, such as 417 Hz or other healing frequencies. This practice combines the cognitive benefits of NLP and repetition with the neural alignment provided by specific sound frequencies, promoting clarity, focus, emotional balance, and even lowering anxiety. P.S. If you want my Spotify playlist, DM me, and I'll share it!Create space for reflection
Spend time in solitude and stillness through meditation, journaling, or quiet walks in nature to notice recurring thought patterns and identify those that no longer serve you. This helps bring subconscious beliefs into conscious awareness, making it easier to reframe them.Reframe limiting beliefs
Challenge negative self-talk by replacing it with affirmations or empowering alternatives that support growth and possibility. Since last year, I've decided to treat every negative thought as false, and again, it has transformed my life! Honestly, is the negative chatter in our heads true? And, if not, does it deserve any of our time?Experiment
Try small projects related to your passions and observe what brings joy and flow. Remind yourself you're not making a decision or writing anything in stone; you're just trying something out. The benefit? These activities engage the brain's reward system, strengthening neural connections associated with creativity and fulfillment.Trust the process
Rewiring takes time; trust that even setbacks are part of building new neural pathways - and thoughts. But once the new thoughts take hold, you'll see the world in a whole new light. One day, you'll wake up and realize your life is entirely different, your habits have changed, and you feel more fulfilled. And that's the true power of neuroplasticity - the ability to shape our minds and lives through intentional thoughts and actions.
Embrace Your Inner Rebel and Activist as a Creative Generalist
As a creative generalist, you're not just someone with many interests, passions, and talents. You're also likely to possess a powerful inner rebel and activist. These traits are part of what makes you unique. Your inner rebel thrives on freedom and resists being boxed into rigid structures or routines, even when those constraints come from yourself (hello promises to me I keep breaking!). Meanwhile, your inner activist has a strong sense of justice and an innate drive to stand up for what's right, whether in your personal life or the world around you (aka, you hate following directions from someone who doesn't know what they are talking about).
These qualities can be incredible assets. They nurture your creativity and push you to innovate in ways others might not. However, they can also create challenges, such as procrastination, self-sabotage, or frustration when your work or life feels misaligned with your values. Recognizing these inner forces is a big first step toward working with them effectively so they don't stand in the way of your dreams.
How Psycho-Education Can Help You Manifest Your Dreams as a Creative Generalist
Understanding how your creative brain works - and why you think and act the way you do - can be the most reality-bending thing you'll ever do. This is where psycho-education comes in. By learning about the unique wiring of your brain as a creative generalist, you can develop strategies to work with your natural tendencies rather than against them. That's why it's an important part of what I do with my clients. For example:
Learn to collaborate with your inner rebel by giving yourself more freedom in how you approach creative projects. This might mean allowing for flexibility in your schedule or experimenting with different methods of working that feel more aligned with your energy and interests. My Freedom Planner is a great way to get started. Get your free copy here.
Empower your inner activist by channeling your passion for justice into meaningful projects that align with your values. Whether through art, entrepreneurship, or community work, finding ways for this natural drive to express itself can bring so much joy and fulfillment.
Manifestation begins with the belief that your thoughts shape your reality. As Gandhi wisely said: "Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions…" This quote reminds me that by intentionally shaping my beliefs and thoughts, I can create an outer reality that reflects my inner transformation.
If you've ever felt like the world wasn't designed for someone like you, know there's nothing wrong with how you're wired. You're not an "ugly duckling" trying to fit into a world of specialists - you're a swan among swans in the world of creative generalists. Now spread those beautiful wings and show the world who you truly are!
No more burning out, people-pleasing, or picking just one thing.
Through my coaching, I provide psycho-education tailored specifically to creative generalists like you. Together, we'll explore how to embrace the unique way your brain is wired while building a career and life that reflects your passions, talents, and interests.
By understanding the science behind how your brain works - including its need for variety, freedom, and purpose - you'll gain tools for greater creativity, resilience, and clarity in everything you do.
The Paralysis of Perfectionism: Why "Good Enough" is Actually Perfect
Many people find themselves stuck, unable to move forward in their personal or professional lives. I know because I see a lot of them in my coaching practice. They feel held back not by a lack of ability or opportunity, but by an internal struggle: perfectionism. While seemingly a virtue and a very helpful quality to achieve your goals, the quest for perfection and flawlessness often becomes an obstacle to your goal, leading to procrastination, self-doubt, and, ultimately, getting and staying stuck.
After a decade of supporting creative generalists and entrepreneurs to get unstuck, I know how perfectionism impacts our drive and productivity. So before even trying once again to "just do the thing," look inward. Are you setting yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic expectations? Are you holding yourself back through negative and destructive inner chatter? If that is the case, trying harder won't make you finally move forward. Instead, you must shift your mindset and mentally recalibrate: you must transform how you see perfection and understand it's an illusion created by fear to keep you safe.
What is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply striving for excellence or having high standards. However, again, after doing this work for a decade, I can tell you it goes way beyond that. At its core, perfectionism is an all-or-nothing approach to life. It's the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable and dangerous. This mindset is paralyzing, as it sets an unattainable standard - a mountain, as I often tell my clients, that we expect to climb in one step!
The High Cost of Chasing Perfection
Perfectionism may manifest differently in different people, but it always comes with a heavy cost:
Procrastination: The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards leads to delaying tasks. First, you create the mountain in your mind. Then, you procrastinate because it's too big of a task to climb it all at once.
Analysis Paralysis: Relentless overthinking and analysis prevent taking action. You're always thinking, trying to figure out how to reach the top of the mountain, but never actually taking the first step.
Self-Sabotage: The inner critic undermines confidence, fostering a belief that you are simply not good enough. If you were, you'd be on that mountain top already!
Lack of Creativity: The pressure to create something perfect will damage your capacity for innovation and experimentation. Instead of figuring out how to make it to the top, you'll be stuck in a rut, coming up with underwhelming ideas, not knowing how to begin.
Burnout: Always creating mountains for yourself, aka unattainable goals, leads to exhaustion and a loss of passion. How could you not get tired, always giving yourself impossibly high climbing levels?
These are only a few of the many negative effects or causes of perfectionism. One that is particularly powerful in keeping us stuck is what we say to ourselves. Let's take a closer look at that inner voice and how it keeps us from achieving our goals.
The Inner Critic's Sabotage
A common theme among my clients is the destructive voice of the inner critic. This voice whispers nothing but doubts, focuses on flaws, and convinces us that our efforts will invariably fail. Some examples of how this inner critic keeps us stuck include:
"No one will buy that; don't waste your time."
"This has been done before. It’s not original."
"There is nothing special about this."
"I don’t deserve that because I am not good enough."
"I will fail, lose money, and everyone will hate me."
"Making it is hard, and I will suffer."
One of my clients described his inner critic as saying, "Look, the mountain is beautiful but too high for you to climb it." Another client's inner voice was even more brutal, declaring, "You’re not going to be good at expressing your ideas...nothing you do will ever matter." This relentless negativity chips away at self-worth and destroys the courage to pursue a life worth living.
The Antidote: Embracing "Good Enough"
The key to breaking free from the paralysis of perfectionism lies in embracing the concept of "good enough." This doesn't mean settling for mediocrity. Instead, it's about recognizing that striving for excellence is valuable, but demanding perfection is self-defeating. "Good enough" acknowledges that limitations exist - of course they do! But it allows you to progress, learn, and grow without the crippling weight of impossible expectations (and imaginary mountains to climb).
Here are some strategies to help shift your perfectionist mindset to one that embraces "good enough:"
Challenge the Inner Critic: Actively question the negative thoughts and beliefs that cause your perfectionism. Are these thoughts realistic and helpful? Are they really true? Or are they based on fear and unrealistic expectations?
Set Realistic Goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Make them so small that you can't even make a mountain out of them anymore. Celebrate small victories along the way to build momentum and confidence.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift the focus from the end result (the top of the mountain) to the process of learning and growing (climbing your way up slowly). Accept that mistakes are part of the journey and valuable growth opportunities.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. If you wouldn't wish this pressure on someone else, don't put it on yourself.
Embrace Imperfection: Actively look for opportunities to be imperfect. Share your work even if it's not flawless, leave things unfinished (by your standards), and let others see the process rather than the result. It will be freeing, I promise!
Set Time Limits: Instead of striving for endless improvement, set a realistic deadline and commit to finishing the task within that timeframe (hello, I see you; I know it's hard!). This prevents projects from dragging on indefinitely and allows you to move forward.
Celebrate "Done": Acknowledge and celebrate the completion of a task, regardless of whether it meets every expectation. With your high standards, things will never be "done," so you might as well just let them be what they are.
Redefine Success: Change your definition of success from doing everything perfectly and at the highest level to your personal growth journey, finding meaning in your work, and focusing on your well-being first.
Some Case Studies in "Good Enough"
The Entrepreneur: Savannah started and stopped many entrepreneurial projects because they "didn’t quite feel right." After having her daughter, she realized she was working on interesting things, but they "didn’t truly come from my heart." She found her purpose by shifting her focus to postpartum care and wellness and coaching for new mothers.
The Creative: Connie feels she has "the soul of an artist, even if I don’t have the skill (yet)." Rather than waiting until she has the perfect skills, Connie can embrace her creativity by experimenting, learning, and sharing her work. By cultivating a growth mindset, she knows growth comes through practice, not innate talent.
The Career Changer: Kathryn wants personalized, results-oriented help with a career transition. By making the most of her existing skills and experience, she can create a solid plan that focuses on progress today rather than an unattainable ideal in the future.
Conclusion
As I have witnessed in my life and through working with many gifted and talented people, you think being perfect will be gratifying, but it only causes frustration and stagnation: you get stuck and stay stuck.
By aiming for "good enough" instead, you can free yourself from unattainable expectations, move closer to your innate potential, and experience the joy of progress, creativity, and meaningful achievement instead of the pain of never reaching the top of the mountain. You can Get Unstuck!
Take the first step toward progress and Getting Unstuck
Perfectionism can keep you trapped in a cycle of frustration and inaction. Constantly striving for an unattainable goal leads to self-doubt, procrastination, and a sense of failure, preventing you from reaching your goals and experiencing true fulfillment.
Are you ready to break free from the chains of perfectionism and start achieving your goals? Are you ready to finally get unstuck? Take the first step now - sign up for a free coaching session with me today!
Everything in Life is an Invitation to Grow: Everything is a Grindstone
For many clients and myself, life often feels like a rollercoaster ride, filled with unexpected challenges and overwhelming experiences. More than any other, recent years have been one of perseverance and growth in ways I never thought possible. And there's a reason for that...
Reflecting on the past can be overwhelming, but instead of focusing on the negatives, I want to challenge you to think about everything that happened to you, all your experiences, and the difficult path you may have walked as a grindstone. This is how I've looked at life for the past few years; it has been so empowering.
A grindstone is a tool used to sharpen blades and tools. It's made up of rough surfaces that rub against each other, slowly but surely creating a sharp edge.
Similarly, if we decide to see it that way, every challenge we face is like a rough surface on our journey, constantly rubbing against us and pushing us to grow and become stronger. And just like a blade that becomes sharper with each pass on the grindstone, we, too, become sharper and more resilient through our struggles.
This may sound cliche, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Every setback, obstacle, and disappointment in your life is an opportunity to sharpen yourself and become stronger.
Everything is an invitation to grow, learn, and become a more resilient, stronger, and more capable human being.
When an obstacle shows up, when someone is shitty towards you, when you are being misunderstood or mistreated, instead of getting angry and defensive, say "thank you" and go to work learning and growing from it.
Your ex decided to be a jerk during divorce proceedings? Say "thank you," and use this setback to become a stronger person with better boundaries and communication skills, and leave this experience with more grace, empathy, and power.
Your boss is micromanaging you? Say "thank you" because now you can see how not to manage people, how to stand up for yourself, and communicate your needs effectively.
You made a bad financial decision? Say "thank you" and use that experience to become a better money manager, to be more mindful of your spending habits, and to prioritize your financial goals.
Every challenge can be an opportunity for growth if we choose to look at it that way. And the best part? No one can take away what you've learned and who you've become through these challenges. They are yours forever and will continue to serve you in the future.
How to see your grindstones as gifts
I know, I know. Looking at challenges as "gifts" and saying "thank you" when someone is a jerk to you might sound... annoying, to say the least, especially when you're in the middle of a challenging situation. But here’s the truth - it’s all about mindset. You have the power to turn any trial into triumph. You really do.
Here are five steps to get started with your grindstones:
Acknowledge the trigger.
Notice when something or someone gets under your skin. That discomfort? That’s your grindstone saying, “Hey, there’s something here for you to learn. Here's your chance to grow.”Ask, “What’s the lesson?”
What skill, habit, or strength is this moment trying to teach you? Is it patience? Assertiveness? Boundaries? Courage? Self-Esteem?Flip the script
Instead of thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “How can this help me grow? What can I get out of this?” Reframing challenges as opportunities will completely shift your perspective and help you achieve happiness and success much faster!Seek the gift
This might not come right away, and that’s okay. Reflect on what you’ve learned once the dust settles. Write it down and own that growth. You've earned it!Say "thank you"
Gratitude is powerful - even for the hard stuff. It’s how you take control of your story and become the knife that needs sharpening, not the victim who wants pity.
What’s your grindstone?
I invite you to embrace this grindstone concept as you reflect on how far you've come (and perhaps how stuck you feel). From this day forward, let's welcome every obstacle with open arms and see them as opportunities to sharpen ourselves, grow, and become stronger.
Trust me; this mindset shift will change your life.
Are you ready to embrace the grindstones in your life?
Imagine a life where you fully embrace your inner strength, where challenges are no longer roadblocks but stepping stones to success. It's time to let go, grow and finally get unstuck.
Don't let your grindstones go to waste. Take the first step towards freedom and potential and sign up for a free coaching session today. Your transformation awaits!
Your #1 Mindset Hack for a Badass Life: Every Negative Thought is Wrong
Overthinking, worry, and anxious thoughts plagued my every day - my every minute and even my every second on some days. I couldn't escape them, no matter how hard I tried. The noise in my head, paired with the discomfort in my body from the perpetual stress, made it difficult to focus on anything else. It was like a constant battle that, for years, I couldn't win.
Those anxious days are long gone, thank goodness, but it was a journey to get to where I am now. And it's a journey that I continue on every day because let's be honest - anxiety isn't something that entirely disappears forever. Yes, you can make it smaller and smaller, but it is a daily practice and reprieve. Anxiety and worry are things that we learn to manage and cope with.
I used to think my constant worrying was just a part of who I was - it was just my personality, and I could do nothing about it. But I learned that wasn't true through therapy, self-reflection, cultivating many calming and grounding rituals, and a lot of trial-and-error. Anxiety is not our identity - it's simply an aspect of thinking and the nervous system that has gone into overdrive. And just like any other part of ourselves that isn't serving us, we can work on changing it.
The problem with anxiety and worry is that it keeps us stuck in a state of fear and doubt. We become so consumed with what could go wrong and what might happen that we forget to live in the present moment. In my practice, I support many people who suffer from anxiety, worry, and overthinking.
Often, the way it manifests in their life is as follows:
Difficulty concentrating on tasks and making decisions
Procrastination due to fear of failure
Loss of performance and productivity
Strained relationships at work and with loved ones
Increased physical discomfort like headaches or fatigue
Disrupted sleep patterns
Constant self-doubt and negative self-talk
It's a never-ending cycle that can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and hopeless. But the good news is we have the power to break this cycle and take control of our thoughts and emotions. It starts with acknowledging that we have anxiety and understanding how it affects us. From there, we can begin implementing healthy coping strategies and seeking professional help if needed.
So, where do you start in this process of rewiring your brain so you can be freed from this crippling anxiety? How do you begin to quiet the noise and calm the storm inside your head? You can do many things, from therapy and medication to self-care practices like mindfulness, exercise, and journaling. It's about finding what works for you and creating a personalized plan to help you manage your anxiety.
One thing that has helped me tremendously in managing my anxiety is changing my mindset, aka the way I think about things.
Instead of constantly worrying and catastrophizing, I learned to challenge my thoughts, question their validity, and focus on the present moment. This shift in thinking has allowed me to let go of unnecessary stress and find peace within myself.
Life constantly changes and evolves, and people's reactions are beyond our control. Every day, something new, potentially stressful, and uncertain could happen. Instead of continually worrying about what might go wrong or trying to control everything, I have learned to focus on what I can control - my thoughts and my reactions.
I have done so much work learning to control my thinking this year, and this mindset thing is like magic! There are no two ways about it:
Our thoughts - our mindset - shape our reality; they are the lens through which we interpret the world.
Someone I consider very wise once told me, "We are what we focus on." This means that if our thoughts are consumed with worry and anxiety, then that is what we will manifest in our lives. But, if we focus on positivity, gratitude, and peace of mind, that is what we will attract.
So why not choose the latter? We can rewire our brains by changing our thought patterns and creating a more positive mindset. It's a challenging task but possible with practice and perseverance.
I used to believe that my anxiety was something I would always have to live with - it was just part of who I am. But now I know that I can manage it and even overcome it. It takes work every day, but the rewards are endless.
Since then, those words have become my truth. When we focus on positivity and possibility, we open ourselves to a world of opportunities and growth. When we pay attention to negative and limiting thoughts, we trap ourselves in a cycle of self-doubt and fear, often creating unnecessary anxiety and stress.
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought," said the Buddha.
With that in mind, I've been training myself to focus on thoughts that empower me rather than those that keep me small and stressed out. And let me tell you, it's like magic! It can be confusing to believe one negative thought but not another, as if some are true and we should listen to them! That's why I've created a simple rule for myself and my clients:
Every negative thought is wrong!
As soon as one pops into my mind (as they will, thousands of times a day if you let them!), I choose to divert my focus to a positive thought instead. It takes practice (and a handy list of positive things to focus on helps), but the easier I do it, the easier it becomes.
Before I knew it, my mindset had shifted from one of limitation to one with ONLY possibility. I have also seen amazing results in the creatives and entrepreneurs I support.
I'm constantly amazed at how much this simple shift in thinking has affected every aspect of my life - from relationships to my sense of well-being and happiness, overwork to personal growth. It's not about ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect; it's about choosing to see things in a way that serves us and empowers us to live in the reality we dream about.
So, next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck, remember that you have control over how you think and perceive the world around you. Choose thoughts that empower you and open yourself up to the endless possibilities that await.
Are you ready to rewire your brain and let go of anxiety for good?
Transforming your mindset is a powerful way to create the life you want. None of your thoughts are fixed or part of who you are - they are just thoughts, and as such they can be changed.
I help my clients transform their mindsetso they can become the badass humans and professionals they know they are meant to be. Discover the power of coaching with me. Click below and let's chat!
If You Give Yourself Time to Overthink, You Will. Here’s How to Stop and Get Unstuck
It’s a busy season for me. I’ve been working on my new project, nuumani.com, with the help of some great product developers and coaches while still having the pleasure of helping clients one-on-one. I've also aced two courses at Harvard Extension School, where I'm working my way to a Master's in Management. But let me tell you, this was a ton of work that I did not anticipate! While all of this was happening, and I was celebrating my birthday in Porto and visiting friends in Italy, I felt I was kicking it, and being in action, unhelpful procrastination started making it harder for me to focus on the right things.
I'm sure this is as familiar to you as it is to me. It's a direct result of the pressure, combined with the creative high of new projects: I just get so many additional ideas that I start to focus on the wrong thing. Worse, my focus gets so scattered that I start to overthink everything, so eventually, I end up doing nothing.
The truth is: if you give yourself time to overthink, you will. And it won't be good for your productivity.
The good news is that there are things you can do to stop yourself from going there, even when ideas pop up like fireflies on a hot summer night in the Midwest.
Here are a few tips to help you stay on track and avoid that mind trap:
Recognize when you're overthinking
The first step in overcoming overthinking is to recognize when it's happening. Pay attention to your thoughts and notice any patterns of excessive rumination or indecisiveness that keep you from getting work done.
Create a clear roadmap
One of the main reasons we tend to overthink is that we could be doing so many different things. Especially as creative entrepreneurs, we have a million ideas floating around in our heads. To combat this, create a clear roadmap or plan for your work that you can chop up into clear tasks for your day or week.
Set deadline
I’m such a victim of this. I’m so flexible with deadlines that I have become immune to moving them. To be clear, a little flexibility is good but too much is deadly for your work. Setting deadlines for yourself is another way to avoid overthinking. It creates a sense of urgency and helps you focus on completing tasks instead of juggling between them.
Let go of what isn't a priority
Because I became so stretched in time, I had to make some difficult decisions about how I spend it and say goodbye to some volunteering work I enjoyed and some projects I just don't have the time to work on right now. It can be challenging to let go of things we enjoy or have invested time in, but sometimes, it's necessary to prioritize and stay focused on what matters.
Know what success means to you
It's great to have many opportunities, and we often fear what will happen when we don't say "yes" to what shows up. But what about the risk if you do it? Would that help your business or project, or is it more of a distraction? Don't feel bad if something doesn't align with your goals or definition of success.
Remember, you’re in control of your journey and the decisions you make along the way. I have had to remind myself of this in the past few weeks, and as I'm writing this, I am still digesting a potent conversation I had with one of my business mentors this morning. He pointed out that I was overwhelming myself with overthinking and a lack of oversight or priorities. And you know what? He was right.
Being an entrepreneur is a fantastic journey I wouldn't trade for the world. But what a learning curve it is as well! And a humbling experience. The most important thing is to know what success means to you and prioritize accordingly. Don't let the fear of missing out or the pressure of others push you into overthinking and spreading yourself thin.
Saying "no" to ideas and staying focused is hard, but I know you've got this!
Feeling overwhelmed by endless decisions and mental clutter?
I understand how paralyzing overthinking can be. My private career and business coaching sessions are designed to help you break free from these mental traps and gain clarity.
Imagine a life where you make confident decisions with ease, achieve your career or business goals, and enjoy the process. With expert guidance and personalized strategies, you can turn your biggest vision into reality.
Rediscovering the Excitement in Your Work: A Quick Guide for Bored-Out Creatives
Do you dread going to work in the morning? Do you feel less and less passionate about your job? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different career path? Are you bored out of your mind just by thinking about your day ahead? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this quick guide is for you.
As a creative person, I understand the struggle of feeling uninspired and unfulfilled at work, especially when you think your skills and talents are underutilized. This can lead to burnout, which can affect your productivity, mental health, and, even worse, sometimes bore-out.
What is bore-out? And are you suffering from it?
Bore-out is a state of chronic boredom and disengagement at work, which can be just as damaging, if not more, than burnout. Many of the creative generalists and entrepreneurial clients I coach suffer from it. It's characterized by a lack of motivation, boredom, and apathy toward work. Unlike burnout, where you may feel overwhelmed with too much work, bore-out stems from not having enough challenging tasks or opportunities to use your skills. This can result in a loss of meaning and purpose in your job.
If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing bore-out. Of course, leaving your job for something more exciting is always an option. But perhaps you don't want to go because you love what you do and simply lost the spark.
When 'settling' becomes the norm
Sadly, for many people, work is something they endure rather than enjoy. Gradually accepting boring jobs is a silent killer of professional dreams. But why do so many people let this happen? The golden cage, of course, but also the fear of change, a desire for financial stability, or simply not knowing what you want can keep you stuck in the status quo.
The problem with staying in a job that bores the living life out of you is that it has a ripple effect. It impacts your career, mental health, and personal relationships. In my practice, this is often a sign that my client's professional life needs a radical shift - or a career redesign.
The problem is, how do you find inspiration again when you're bored out of your mind? How do you avoid falling into the same trap in the future?
Understanding the spark you've lost
Before I share a few tips with you on rediscovering work excitement, it's essential to understand the reasons behind job bore-out. These can stem from various issues, such as:
Monotony: When your job doesn’t challenge you, and the tasks are repetitive and not complex enough, it’s easy to become disinterested.
Mismatch of skills: If you feel that your talents or skills aren’t being utilized, this can lead to a sense of your capabilities being underutilized, which in turn causes you to feel unfulfilled and bored.
Lack of autonomy: When you don’t have control over your work or decision-making, it can make you feel like you’re not contributing to anything meaningful. This lack of agency can lead to feeling disengaged and uninspired.
Lack of growth opportunities: Without clear paths for career advancement or learning new skills, you may feel stuck in a dead-end job. This can lead to a lack of motivation and interest in your work.
There are more reasons to feel bored at work, but these are some of the more important ones. Now that you understand some of the causes let’s explore a few ways to reconnect with our work and find joy in it again.
How do you rediscover the excitement in your work?
To escape the bore-out cycle without having to quit your job, here are a few tips to help you rekindle your passion and creativity:
Identify the root cause: The first step in overcoming bore-out is understanding why you feel this way. This is usually a long and reflective step when I work with clients. Is it because of a lack of challenging tasks? Are you not using your skills to their full potential? Do you feel like your talents are being wasted? Is your manager not providing enough guidance or support? Once you identify the root cause, finding a solution will be easier.
Set new challenges for yourself: If your job has become too routine and mundane, try setting new challenges yourself. This could be taking on new projects, learning new skills, or volunteering for tasks outside your usual responsibilities. You can do this by yourself or include your colleagues or manager. This will not only make your work more interesting, but it can also help you develop new skills and grow professionally.
Take breaks and disconnect: Being constantly connected to work can lead to burnout or boredom. Taking breaks throughout the day and completely disconnecting from work during your off-hours is essential. This allows your mind to rest and recharge, leading to increased creativity and productivity when you get back to work. Set boundaries and stick to them, even if it means saying "no" to extra work or checking emails during off-hours.
Find meaning in your work: People become bored with their jobs because they don't see the purpose or impact of their work. This is also one of the main reasons people lose motivation. To counter this, try to find meaning in your job by connecting it to a larger goal or purpose. Understand how your role contributes to the well-being of others and the company's mission and vision. Knowing that your work has an impact can help motivate you and make you feel more fulfilled.
Seek out new opportunities: If you've been in your current job for a while, it's natural to feel like you've hit a dead end. However, there are always opportunities for growth and advancement if you seek them out. This could be through networking events, professional development courses, or even applying for new positions within the company. Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. It can help reignite your passion for your job and open up new career opportunities.
I help creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck. This often means that with the work we do together, they transition into new and better careers. But the pursuit of an exciting career doesn't mean you have to quit your job. The path to fulfillment and professional success is not often linear, and change is rarely immediate. Figuring out what a great career is for you is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth.
By recognizing the reasons behind your work boredom, addressing your fears and blocks, and actively looking for renewed excitement, you can find joy and purpose in your work again. So keep going. And if you need help, I'm here for you!
Feeling stuck in a career that no longer excites you?
You're not alone. Many creatives and entrepreneurs are looking for a spark in their professional lives. That's why I offer a free coaching session for individuals just like you who are ready to break free from the monotony and rediscover what it means to be truly engaged and fulfilled in your work.
Don't settle for boredom. Explore your potential, redefine your path, and find a new spark in your career. This is your chance to get personalized guidance, gain clarity, and take the first step toward a job that not only pays the bills but excites and inspires you!